We as adults often find ourselves dealing with behaviors instead of the "why's" behind the "what."
We often tell our children to do well in school and in athletics so they can get a scholarship. But what we should be doing as parents is making sure we have our finances in order so we do not put the pressure on our children to have to excel in school and/or athletics in order to finance their own higher education.
As parents we become hypercritical when we stress to our children that they must do XYZ to be successful in order to cover up our lack of planning for our children's future. When we do that, we create within our children a sense of them having to live up to our expectations; which causes them to perform instead of evolving to the young person that they were destined to be.
When our children cannot live up to our expectations or the pressure we put on them, there is an unending cycle of disappointment created on the inside of them due to the pressures of being afraid to fail. When a child deals with inner failure it displays itself in so many different areas. You will begin to see; lack of confidence, lack of discipline, they will become isolated or withdrawn, mood swings, and outward behavior issues.
Although these are things you can see, it is what you cannot see is the real issues. Have we ever thought about telling your children that without failure there is no growth and without struggle one is not forced to be driven? As a result, this will cause both the parent and the child to dialogue about goal setting for the child future. Now, the child is not living up to our expectation, but we are teaching and instilling in the child at an early to be goal-oriented.
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